The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us Learn More Here feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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