The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our internet sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical click over here now intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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